I matter to myself

I write you poetry
I define you in words,
Because I love you.

Not because of the hurt
You inflicted upon me
By saying it was a joke.

I'm okay with being 
The humor in your life
If that makes you smile.

But I'm not okay
With not being loved .
Being an option.
I matter,
I matter,
And I will always matter 
To myself first
If not to you.