4 am t h o u g h t s

Fatma yousuf this is for you.

4 am in the morning
And my whole body aches,
Suddenly to get reminded of
Your face
Like a piano piece
Playing in the background
Leaving me cloistered
From my surrounds in
Haste.

Your hugs are,
Ecstacy

You’re an aura of
Warm fuzziness,
You condemn me
While I passively
Agree upon to,
Only to think that
You’re barbaric to my existence,

Joy derived out of misery which
You inflict upon me,

To mesmerise
To melt,
The heart made of,
Shards
Those have been crippling,
Disapproved, but
Haven’t dismayed,

It’s have been you since the beginning,
My heart is racing and
You’re the one to be held
Captive for the
Sentiments that are
Weaving into my existence,
The sentiments,
That have been never emerged  before,
That I’m afraid of losing
Cause I have never found

Your imperturable laugh
Is the only answer
My mind seeks at
This point of time.
The only thing I can help my self is with either
Fragments,
Of  your recording that I’ve been playing all night

The creases left from your
Hand on my denim shirt,
Remain still untouched,
Only to be found
Later on with broken buttons,

You’re chaos to my mind
And
Relentness
Just to
My heart

Nicotine is the only way to doze my mind off your beautiful face
Your echoing voice
Is now just a
Lullaby
Of facades,
And of the feelings,
I have
Been denying for so long,
You’ve been the one!

Crumbs

You’re like the crumbs,

I leave after my morning tea,

Knowing that you’d justice my needs

But, I don’t even prefer you piled up In heaps, But that doesn’t mean

You’re not important to me.

The sunsets,

The waves set apart,

Sunburns,

Skin prickles,

and there is only one melody that soothes me out,

My mind flashes like a megalomaniac

Only intimidated by the fret of the crumbles being thrown away,

I everyday save up the crumbs

Into

A jar Placed right beside my bed,

But

I wonder how will it end

Today,

Because I have had wafers not crumbs

It’s been a facade that you haven’t

Crossed

My mind at all,

I haven’t missed you at all,

Because all I do is stare at the wall covered with

Pictures of

Our sweet little memories

That

I cannot

Obscure.

Mother

For my mother.
A glorious woman. ☺

There lives a woman right across the hall,
I think I know her,
But seems like not at all,

She looks across the room and smiles at me even though she’s having a bad day,

She has the kind of smile when you look at it,
You know that no matter what happens you will be alright,
Everything’s just fine.

I’ve sweet little memories of her,
Rants when she was all tired from staying up all night long

But now we have grown apart
It’s like she’s a city amd I’m a town,
Being in the same room drives us away with a distance of miles apart,

This woman knows me inside out
Like a religious book,
Embedded in her mind,

And today we are like strangers living in an accomodation and yet she still makes it look like it isn’t awkward at all.

She’s the woman I adore perpetually,
She’s my mom.

Disbeliver

You make me questions my beliefs,
To an extent where I feel not only isolated but lost and alone.

Sometimes I believe that I live upon a lie, knowing that my beliefs are just straight up wrong.

I’ve been so lost in finding the existence of the one you kneel your body in front of everyday in fear of tomorrow,
Only to wake up and find yourself surrounded, safe and sound by the ones you love.

You put me up in a spot where I’ve been unwillingly made to question my lifetime,
Only to realize I remain where I stood at the beginning and I haven’t progressed at all.

Intriguing fallacy

This is for my dear acquaintance, Darya

I’m an ocean, diverse like a tapestery of million  different thoughts and constellations, uncomprehensible by some,
A few who understand me are quite the ones remarkably exquisite

Different worlds dwell in me, dark and contrary to my appearence,
Approach within kindness and you shall be showered upon genuine thoughts

A fine line between family and acquaintances
Boundaries you shall be bounded in until you break free through your own will.

I’m an ocean full of secrets beyond your ordinary intellects,
Again not easy to understand but if you do, you’re quite a remarkable one,

I’m an ocean, I’m the song that sooths your soul,
I’m the knife that can cut you before you could even know,
Be careful what you wish for,
You might end up in the bad side of my good book

I’m the ocean, which brings joyful harmony to your existence like a peace offering to your enemies,
I’m an ocean difficult for your regular intellects to comprehend,
Try hard and you shall be stuck in your labyrinth to figure me out
Until I drop my cover and reveal myself to your naked soul.

Annoying creep

Maybe you can call me an annoying creep.

But all you do is not even care about my care and needs.
You have build up walls around you so long that nobody could ever penetrate them deep down.

You think that you’ve saved yourself from drowning by choosing the callous way around.

But what you don’t realise is that life has been a lie.

The thing you don’t understand and oversee is the forth coming consequences that will crush and tear you apart.

The voices in your head won’t ever leave your path,
And I hope to God that,
If you ever get fed up of these voices,
You never pick up the gun
And paint the walls with your damn blood.

Dazed & Confused.

Dazed & confused what do you need?
Oh boy,
What do you seek to ought does not lie in what you think.

To understand one, you should understand yourself first.
Love yourself and accept yourself
Because they don’t care anyway!

Priorities, you cry about!
Set them straight
You shall pass any obstacle
Yoh seem to be experiencing in you way.

Live between a fine line,
Within indigence  you shall find spiritualness and oneness!
And live in harmony and peace

Be wise while you choose
Oh dear, choose richness
And forget relationships, forget family, shed no tear, turn to stone

But oh goodness, what if too much aggressiveness has turned me to a stone?

How do I melt?
How do I breathe?
Help me, but not by telling thy things I not want to invest any interest upon!
That’s not how it’ll work out!